World Cup Final

It was the World cup final tonight - Spain versus Holland. I wasn't too fussed about watching it. I would normally sit down and watch the match with family at home.

Today when I got home from Sainsbury, it was hot in the house; I opened up the doors and windows and to my dismay the awful orphan was having a shin dig at his place. My first thought was - who let the dogs out?

There was a congratulations banner to one couple and a welcome home banner to another couple. The BBQ was on and there was general revelry going on in the back garden. I felt my heart sink. Luckily my husband was home soon after me. As I was more than a bit put out I had a late lunch and read the Sunday paper. At about 6 I decided it was time to water the garden. I went out, got the hose sorted and put the sprinkler on. I wanted to forget the sprinkler and just hose the awful orphan and his cronies down - at least it would have shut up their cackling.

I got my paper and settled down on my deck to watch the fun and games next door. Mostly I was hoping to make eye contact with anybody who would dare. I knew my face looked like thunder and I wasn't really getting very far reading the paper. The girls were trotting around in summer dresses and high heels including the awful orphan's girlfriend. I thought - bloody hell she's got it made, she's got a dream house (thanks to my husband and my son), no Mother-in-law no Father-in-law and one brother-in-law who is a walkover! Some people just get everything handed to them on a plate.

One of the cronies looked over and I gave him my scariest most angry look ever. Now if that didn't make him say something to the awful orphan nothing would. I was sure he would be wondering what he'd done to deserve that. Then it was the awful orphan's turn, he decided to make eye contact - idiot - so I gave him a dirty look to say the least; he gave as good as he got, shameless little git. I remembered to move the sprinkler every 30 minutes. After that the awful orphan was up and down the deck, in and out of the house. He decided I was too scary to look at again - wimp. My younger daughter phoned me. I told her what had gone on. I decided to stand up and walk around while I spoke to her. I was being very severe and watching all the idiots next door. The awful orphan found this amusing; he was wispering something to one of his cronies and they both looked at me and laughed. Small pleasures for small minded idiots. So I did my best to look pissed off and carried on walking, talking and watching the imbeciles. Finally I sat down and tried to be rational.

My husband and I went indoors, had dinner and watched some of the world cup final. I really couldn't be asked, my mind was on dumb ass next door, sadly. After that I carried on moving the sprinkler. I gave one more dirty look to a different male dog next door and tried to forget about the whole stinking lot of them.

I took the hose to the front of the house to water all the dying plants out there and had about 30 different conversations in my head, with one or other of the morons next door. Again sad but true. OMG! Meanwhile they were all playing a very roudy game of football in the garden next door. I hoped they would all come down the side of the awful orphan's house and I would have given them all a good soaking with the hose. Just what you need after a particularly hard game of football.

When I was being particularly mean in my head about the awful orphan, I felt as if I would black out. As soon as it happened the first time I stopped the mean, bad, dark thoughts. Then I did it again and was in blackout mode again. I tried another couple of times and it kept happening so I made an effort not to got to the dark side.

Finally I came back in the house. The match had been over long ago. Spain won by 1 goal to nil. They scored in the last few minutes of extra time. It was the first time they had ever won the world cup, bless their little cotton football socks.