Doctor! Doctor!

I went to see the doctor today. I told him about having not taken my mood stabilisers for over 3 weeks. Also told him I had thought of taking an overdose in the last week; and told him I might be a little on the high side. Luckily he didn't seem too alarmed. The missed mood stabilisers were an opportunity to stop taking them; wow! I'm really happy about that. I've been on those tablets for years; for the last 2 or 3 years I've wanted to come off them but not without my GP's support. So result. Now just have to get off the antidepressants. Was hoping to have my dose reduced today but because I have come off taking mood stabilisers by default, my GP wants me to leave my antidepressants as they are. I'm happy with that - seems fair.

The overdose issue was cleared up too. I knew it was not what I really wanted for myself and my family. It was over quickly; I didn't dwell on the thought and I was able to recognise that my thoughts were not rational. So my doctor ressured me there isn't a problem. I agree with him. It was a selfish thought and not very clever. I need to rise above my problems, not make more horrid problems for my kids and husband.

Am I high? Nope. I can't get to sleep - high. I can't wake up in the morning; lucky to be up by lunchtime - depressed. I can't get into work 3 days a week - depressed. I'm not well motivated to do any cooking or housework - depressed. I have a sinus infection that I can't get rid of - depressed. I decided to write a blog - high/depressed - don't know but it is theraputic. My mind races at night when I'm tired and want to sleep - depressed. So I think it's quite clear, I'm not high.

So that's my doctor doctor experience today. Pretty good despite everything. A positive to help me be more positive.