Reconciliation.

I called my mum back after our argument in 24 hours. I didn't say I was sorry because I wasn't. I was sorry for upsetting her and my Dad though. We had a civil conversation. That was my way of saying sorry. She was telling me she has no appetite. I told her she needs to eat often, she's lost too much weight. She's malnurished. After she'd discussed a couple of problems I told her I didn't call her to fight with her the day before. I hadn't planned to fight; it just happened. I fight with her about things that have nothing to do with her but indirectly they do.

I told her I needed her to tell her Grandsons that they are wrong. She needs to tell them right from wrong. I said she should have told the awful orphan, that I could not do the things he's accusing me of. I'm not that kind of person, I'm like his Mother. I told her she should have told them, don't treat my daughter like that - you have no right to do that. I wanted her to stand up for me. I wanted her to put some sense into their heads. That's not too much to ask for. I wanted her to remind them of how much my kids, my husband and I had helped them out when their Mum had died in May 2004. How we had got them thru the tough times. How we had lived as one family for 20 months after they had lost their Mum. I wanted her to remind them that we were the ones who gave them our time, our love, our affection. We were the ones who made the most effort to look after them when their Mum died. We gave their Father invaluable support and love.

I wanted my Mum to stand up for me as I had tried, my husband and my children had tried with no success. I needed my parents as elders, to stand up for their daughter who had gone beyond the call of duty when their eldest daughter had died; who had looked after the boys who were left without a Mother at the ages of 14 and 21; who had given love and support to the Son-in-law left without the love of his wife. I needed my parents to endorse what my family and I had done and to be clear about what is right and what is wrong. They didn't do that for me.

I had stood by my parents through their tough times; had given them my support in every way. Why couldn't they do that for me?

Mum and I managed to have a decent conversation at least. I'm glad about that. She understood what I was saying and realised how hurt I felt. That's a start. Another positive to add to my list.